ABOUT THE BOOK
When I started posting my thoughts on different issues on Social media, I never knew that it would take the turn of counselling. My idea was to write on any topic: church, politics, relationships, marriage, mentoring, youth, empowerment, government, etc.
Gradually, I began to receive emails from people who were touched by my postulations. It was a rude shock to me when, one day, a lady called me and asked if she could send me emails about her matrimonial challenges.
I told her to speak to her pastor or an elder in her Church rather than seek counsel from Social media.
She responded that her story could become a sermon topic on a Sunday, and she would become the talk of the Church.
Like so many other people after her, she was not confident that their Church leaders could keep sealed lips on members’ challenges.
When I posted the first mail, many people responded to it. This encouraged the other ones on my friends list to also send in their emails, all hiding behind the anonymity of social media to receive counsel.
Compiled here are 50 cases sent to me by different people. I refused to copy the various counsels given on social media because some were very biblical but not balanced, some funny, some ridiculous, and practically untenable.
To make this book worthwhile, I sought the support of some balanced Bible teachers and preachers of the Word to offer informed, critical counsel after each case.
Rev Gboyega Adejobi of Lifeline Bible Church, Agege Lagos, Nigeria, and Pastor Sina Oladimeji, a Bible teacher too, have been of great help in this regard. I subsequently ran these counsels through the biblical eyes of preachers like Dr. Mrs. Jane Onaolapo, General Overseer, Abundant Life Gospel Church, Rev. Mrs. Adetutu Coker of The King’s Chamber, Rev. Mrs. Oyeladun O. Ayorinde, and Pastor Mrs. FolaBola Tijani, so that apart from being a good read, this book would be a mentoring resource for couples and the younger generation preparing for marriage.
THIS BOOK IS AN EXCELLENT PACKAGE OF SUCH COUNSEL
Though many marriages are troubled today, the situation is not a black market where people buy items they cannot examine before purchasing. However, the buyer will have to accept and use the already bought item the way it is. There is always a way out of every troubled marriage if the individual or couple concerned seeks God who does great and marvellous things, including resolving conflicts in marriages. No one can see God physically, but we can see Him through wise, godly counsels His servants give. That is precisely what this book is about. These divine counsels are like rain to the thirsty land, which comforts those mourning. At this moment, I recommend the book to as many as can lay their hands on it. You do not need to grope in the dark anymore if you have challenges in your marriage. There is safety in godly counsels. This book is an excellent package of such counsels. It is a guide for now and a compass for the future. It is a Blessing!
Rev Janet Onaolapo,
Genera Overseer, Abundant Life Gospel Church, Lagos, Nigeria.
IT IS BETTER TO LEARN FROM OTHERS’ EXAMPLES THAN FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCES
Going through the manuscript was thoroughly exhilarating. I can confidently call this book a masterpiece because of the significant ensemble of life stories that touch the heart and great counsels that bring healing and peace.
Some experiences are bound to occur in your life as you take steps to be joined by another person. When you read this book, you will know how to navigate your life and relationship to go through some of the experiences mentioned. After all, it is better to learn from others’ examples than from personal experiences.
I, therefore, recommend this masterpiece for everyone: old couples, young couples, engaged, yet to be engaged, and even those who are not ready to enter into the marriage institution. I assure you, it is going to be a great read.
Rev. (Mrs) Oyeladun O. Ayorinde,
Abeokuta, Ogun State, Nigeria.
THE AUTHOR HAS ALSO POSTULATED THAT A MAN IS THE LEADER OF HIS HOME AND, AS SUCH, MUST LIVE BY HIGHER STANDARDS THAN HIS WIFE
The rate of divorce and separation in society today is alarming, and the flimsy reasons for the divorce are much more alarming. It has become a source of concern for Christian leaders and others who understand the mind of God for marriage. In this book, Pastor Bola Adewara has delved into the root of marital issues. He has shed light on the fact that marriage is man’s ordained responsibility.
Through the wise counsels given to each issue, he has been able to, in simple terms, explain the fact that Christian marriage is a heterosexual and monogamous union. It involves the loving, lifelong commitment of each to the other and should not be entered into unadvisedly, but by a public leaving of parents and should be consummated in an exclusive sexual union. The author has also postulated that a man is the leader of his home and, as such, must live by higher standards than his wife. Leadership is a journey and not a destination. A common problem identified in the different marriages and relationships in the book is incompatibility and lack of understanding of what marriage entails.
I recommend this book for everybody- married, single, those in courtship, marriage counsellors, and every other person who desires more knowledge in marriage affairs.
Rev. Mrs. Adetutu Coker,
The King’s Chamber, Lagos, Nigeria.
THE BOOK IS AN INVALUABLE PRE-MARRIAGE AND AFTER MARRIAGE RESOURCE
This book demystifies the uncertainty about what couples should expect in marriage with the real-life stories and experiences they can learn from and take necessary precautions. Although most of the stories shared are unpleasant experiences, the book offers valuable insights on possible realities couples, especially women, should brace up for and know how to handle such situations if they arise.
The stories, along with the well-articulated counsel for each case, make the book an invaluable pre-marriage and after-marriage resource for both singles and the married. I fully recommend the book for all who desire a happy married life.
Executive Director, Media Career Development Network (MCDN), Lagos, Nigeria.
AS AN AUTHOR OF MANY BOOKS ON MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE, I KNOW WHEN A MARRIAGE BOOK IS GOOD. THIS IS ONE OF THEM
I understand that asking the right questions and from the right person is one of the best ways to learn. Marriage around the world is having severe issues. People have many questions, but not many people can offer answers that will help. This book by Bola Adewara is a timely effort to answer people’s questions in very practical, easy-to-use, blunt, and even a times brutal yet humorous ways. Reading it looks like reading many marriage books simultaneously or visiting a counsellor or a marriage therapist. As an author of many books on marriage and family life, I know when a marriage book is good. This is one of them. I dare you to read it to the end.
Familybooster Ministry International, Lagos, Nigeria.
YOU CAN’T BE BORED READING THROUGH THIS COLLECTION. THE BOOK WILL MAKE YOU CRY, LAUGH AND REFLECT
Bola Adewara’s UNPROFITABLE RELATIONSHIPS: 50 Questions and Answers on Real Life Relationship Errors is a collection of different marriage experiences. It is a mirror that showcases issues of infidelity, economic strangulation, bareness, and all sorts of marital challenges with an attendant pill of counsel for each of the issues raised.
Reading through the book gives you an overview of what it looks like to have a challenged marriage. The counsel given to each experience is the utility end of the book. So, the author is not just presenting a problem, he is also offering a solution. You can’t be bored reading through this collection. The book will make you cry, laugh and reflect. It is a practical guide for every married person who desires a good home. The book is not just another addition to books on marriage; rather, it is an exquisite addition that informs and empathises with the reader.
Publisher, Church Times, Lagos, Nigeria.
THIS BOOK IS A MUST-READ FOR THOSE WHO SEEK WISDOM FOR MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIPS, AND LIFE IN GENERAL
“…. a practical, easy-to-read compilation of everyday marriage and relationship stories, shared from the heart, that people of different ages and marital statuses can identify with. Accentuated with sound and godly counsels and backed up with appropriate Scriptures, this book is a must-read for those who seek wisdom for marriage, relationships, and life in general.”
President, Interdenominational Pastors’ Wives Forum (IPWF).
I ENDORSE AND RECOMMEND THIS BOOK AS A TOOL OF HEALING COUNSEL AND VITAL INFORMATION FOR COUPLES
This book is a treasure, especially with the broadness of its scope. It is not only a must-have for couples in marriage but for young people about to get into it. Marriages are under many attacks because people go into it without the proper information. I endorse and recommend this book as a tool of healing counsel and vital information for couples.
Lead Pastor, Revival Assembly TLC (The Lekki Church) Lagos Nigeria.
Convener, Relationship Clinic with Pastor Sope.